Our Violent Brethren
Before I move on to discuss the supposed 're-capture' of America by Christians I would like to present to you what the
Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights (the first ten amendments in
the Constitution) might look like in a parallel universe where the United
States really WAS founded on the Holy Bible and Christianity.
Preamble
We the people, the possessors of the only truth in the
universe, in order to provide the scary dogma with which to convince others of
our solitary correctness, control the minds of those shackled to our version of
truth, conform public opinion as to the treatment of those we despise, provide
fodder for the vivid and fertile imaginations of men as to whom to blame for
all the bad and terrible things that are bound to happen in life, and to
provide ammunition with which to condemn all those who would dare to think or
believe otherwise, do ordain and establish our faith and our particular version
of God and holy scriptures as the ultimate, one-and-only,
the-cheese-stands-alone explanation for everything that exists, both understood
and misunderstood, to include all things considered evil or divine.
Declaration of Independence
When in the costs of religious events, it is quite
customary for some individuals and groups to devolve, forming ridiculous
religious bands with which to disassociate with and kill one another, and for
many religious groups to assume they have the only true, viable, correct power
in the universe, that which for some reason or other a considerable number of
faiths out there believe gives them authority.
But we hold this truth to be
quite obvious, that all gods are not created equal, that our version of God and
the Creator gives us the ultimate in bragging rights, along with the rights to
fervently proselytize, harass if necessary, and condemn all those who do not
believe in the same straight to hell. And to secure our rights, fears and
grievances are purposely seeded among men deriving their fairy tale powers from
the dissent of the religiously smothered.
And when a long train of predicable
complaints and accusations is presented by those who either believe in God
differently or not at all, it is our sworn duty to protect that aberrant
behavior and the resulting maltreatment of others that is in fact the source of
our immutable powers lest we lose the distorted truth that we would like to
think makes us more worthy and deserving, for losing such things would likewise
loose that which gives us control.
Many people think that prudence would
dictate that there is more than one way to think or believe or worship or even
ways to not believe at all, and such people are those that history has
repeatedly shown to undermine our efforts by asserting that our propositions
that there is no hope for man and there is only one way to believe is injurious
to humanity and separates mankind. So, let us reveal our religious superiority
candidly by stating those grievances we hold against those who think or believe
differently:
Ÿ There are those
who assert our Holy Bible to be polluted by the minds and intentions of men who
desire only to control.
Ÿ There are those who assert that the Holy Bible is
incomplete, any information in regards to reincarnation, Jesus being married to
a woman, a female disciples being removed.
Ÿ There are those who assert that our Holy Bible is a
mere collection of fairy tales, a simple pot-luck picnic where all the courses
to be consumed each have a different origin.
Ÿ There are those who assert that the treatment of women
in the Holy Bible and our treatment of women based on our Holy Bible is
demeaning, sexist, chauvinist, abusive, and even flippant.
Ÿ There are those
who assert that our God of the Holy Bible is anything but loving, a
disconnected deity that revokes his affections and blessings the moment an
individual or group of individuals choose to believe or think differently, or
when an individual participates in behavior we find to be inherently
threatening such as homosexuality, lesbianism, Atheism, or treating all of
mankind equally.
Ÿ There are those who assert that our Holy Bible and our
way of life derived from such, is riddled with hypocrisy.
Ÿ There are those who assert that our
believe-this-way-or-die philosophy is not faith.
Ÿ There are those who assert that we utilize the words
of our Holy Bible as vindication for our maltreatment of others.
Ÿ There are those who assert that we take the words of
our Holy Bible out of context in order to best suit our needs.
Let it so be known to all who reside in this land picked
for us by our God, that because of our beliefs, because of our Holy Bible,
because of our most powerful God we will forever be better than anyone and
everyone else, and that this nation by special people, for special people, and
to special people shall not perish from this earth…until the Second Coming of
Christ when Jesus will destroy the earth and everyone against us with fire.
Constitution:
The Ten Amended Commandments
1. Thou Shalt Not Kill
Ÿ Unless instructed by God to wage a war or crusade.
Ÿ Unless you are Jimmy Swaggart and simply carrying
through with your statement that you will kill any man who looks at you “in
that way.” Hey Jim, don’t forget to tell God the guy died.
Ÿ Unless it is necessary to remove indigenous people
from lands that you want.
Ÿ Unless you are
Pat Robertson and want to save a couple of billion dollars that would otherwise
be spent on war by assassinating unpalatable dictators.
2. Thou Shalt Not Steal
Ÿ Unless the land God has pledged to you belongs to
someone else.
Ÿ Unless you need to raid the church offering box in
order to get the funds to pay for that ranch, Mercedes, or vacation home that
God wants you to have.
3. Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness
Ÿ Unless you are a televangelist or tent preacher who
needs to fabricate a miracle or two in order to convert the sinning sheep of
the world to the truth of the salvation of Jesus.
Ÿ Unless you are a televangelist or other type of
religious emissary of the divine who needs to establish authority by claiming
that God speaks directly to you.
Ÿ Unless you need to lie about who was with that Lady of
the Night.
4. Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery
Ÿ Unless you are a televangelist or other religious
representative of authority who by nature prefers the company of a Lady of the
Night.
Ÿ Unless you are a televangelist, preacher, or other
type of religious authority who is simply filling in for a church member’s
husband who is not fulfilling his husbandly duties.
5. Remember the Sabbath and Keep It Holy
Ÿ Unless you are meeting up with a Lady of the Night.
6. Honor Your Mother and Father
Ÿ Unless they disapprove of or fail to follow the
approved version of faith.
Ÿ Unless they are gay or lesbian.
7. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Wife
Ÿ Unless you are King David and one of your soldiers has
a real hottie of a wife that you want for your own.
Ÿ Unless your neighbor’s wife is a Lady of the Night.
8. Thou Shalt Not Have Any Other Gods Before Me
Ÿ Unless that other God is a Lady of the Night
9. Thou Shalt Not Blaspheme the Holy Spirit
Ÿ Unless you are a qualified televangelist preacher, or
approved representative of God who must bring lost souls to Christ by making
absurd claims, insane statements, and groundless accusations.
10. Thou Shalt Not Have Graven Images
Ÿ Unless the graven image is a mansion that God wants
the televangelist to live in so that he may look good for God.
Ÿ Unless it is a picture of a Lady of the Night.
Other than the severely misinformed claim that this nation was founded on the Bible and Christianity another argument that really gets my goat is the one where Christians stand on their soapboxes and claim that it is time for Christians to TAKE America back. As if they would have any greater claim to America than the Native Americans, right? But that is a different argument for a different day. Let us discuss and view some of the members of the religiously misinformed.
I had to start with something funny that also held a lot of real zingers. You get an amazing number of Christians who say they want to return to the America of yester-year. Really?
I thought this was the appropriate video to follow the first one.
That's right...what better way to get people to think that they are right in what they are doing and how they are treating people who do not wish to believe in any freaking God, than to tell them that this mighty and powerful God is talking to them specifically, personally. So many of the people hearing this deluded message and purposeful misinterpretation of the founding of this country turn on their own countrymen out of a fear of what an imaginary man in the sky says will happen if they don't worship Him...and harass others in His name. Watch God work? I have. The world has. History is testament to the supposed work of your God, and you know what? If history is of His making He is cruel, a bigot, an abuser of women and children, a thief, a slave-master, a dictator, a tyrant, a murderer, and a sadistic liar who takes great delight in hurting as many people as possible in HIS name and for HIS supposed glory.
We are not in the goddamn last days. What the fuck is wrong with you? Your freaking book (the Bible) has about as much truth to it as freaking "Charlotte's Web" that you read to your kids before you go and tuck them into bed each night. The Constitution was not created by Christians for Christians. And what is your talk about destroying the mosques and places of worship of a different religion? I that showing the love of Jesus? Are you listening to what you are saying? You are telling people that God is basically granting them permission to harass and maim and harm people who are not Christian. And you WONDER WHY people like you are on a list that notes groups that are dangerous to this country and government. You talk about the Quran having verses in it that talk about destroying anyone who believes differently. Listen, you stupid mother fucker...the Bible, YOUR goddamn Bible says the same fucking thing...to kill those who are different than you and believe different than you. Religion has no place in government, least of all YOUR religion in our nation;s government.
When this asshole says that things that were unthinkable are coming true that is only partially correct. Go back a century and I bet you had most of the Christians believing that their grip on the rights of the people of this nation would never be disturbed. Now that people are stepping up for true equality and true freedom these assholes are so very afraid and hold meetings where they scare the shit out of each other in an effort to galvanize their brainless followers into doing something destructive and horribly terrible and stupid.
Monsters. That is because that IS what you are. Monsters. You think everyone must live like you, think like you, believe like you, and worship like you. And you talk about the low levels that people can sink to. Christianity is right there in the mix, bud. You Christians are not being persecuted but you sure as shit persecute those around you who choose a different faith or no faith at all.
Dear Jesus. Another nut. Righteousness has nothing to do with your religion or your God or your Jesus. You subjugate people, judge them, harass them, harm them, force them to follow laws decreed by your imaginary God and His fancies. You can try all you want to try to validate you faith, but you fail.
Great...another stupid video trying to get people to fight each other and our government and the push for equality and freedom. Somehow these asshole confuse religious freedom as meaning the freedom to make all the laws that everyone must live by. As for famines and wars and quakes and floods...these are natural occurences of our planet, you shithead. We DO live on a LIVING PLANET, and the waves will crash, the rains will come, the floods will wash away, the volcanoes will erupt, the ground will shake.
President Obama told it exactly as it is...and Christians did not like that now, did they? Then what the Christians do in order to recover is to charge the president with mocking the Bible and taking it out of context. And Obama IS RIGHT. Christians don't read their own goddamn Bible because if they did they would not ever behave in the pathetic manner in which they behave because they would remember love and what love is and that it does indeed conquer all. But, the bastards don't want love to conquer all because then that would mean getting along with those who believe differently than you. Why would they want that? If they did that they couldn't control anyone now, could they? They wouldn't feel more deserving than anyone else, would they?
Liberals and non-Christians get out? How about racist, bigot, pushy, holier-than-thou Christians back the fuck off? Stop trying to tell people how to freaking live. You are an abuser of rights and faith.
Are you serious? Shit like this is exactly why we must have separation of church and state. I don't want any kind of religious adherent running my government and making my laws if they think they have to do whatever some God is telling them to do.
You know what, these Christians really need to stop trying to hide their aggressive nature, right? Stop pretending you do not harm people who do not believe the same as you do. Stop pretending your rights are being attacked when the real issue is you just can't seem to keep your goddamn hands off of the rights of the people around you. Stop pretending you don't hate the gay and lesbian communities. Stop.
This is excellent! Well done. Well done.
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